Yesterday I wrote about the importance of the heart.  If my kids learn nothing else from me this will be enough, to love the Lord their God with all their heart, soul, strength, and mind.   We do not love God because it is in our nature to love him.  We love him because he first loved us.

When we didn’t deserve it.

When we couldn’t earn it.

When we fail to remain faithful time and time again.

He loves us. He is faithful to us.

If we fully grasped how deep and how wide the depths of his love is, we would fall to our knees in adoration and love, and faithfulness to him would flow naturally out of our gratitude that he loves us.

Today’s activity is to demonstrate to your children that when we truly understand God’s love and faithfulness for us, and we bind those truths around our neck, the result is our love and faithfulness for God increases.    When those truths sink so deep into our hearts that they are etched across them, the way we treat others also changes.  We no longer talk about being fair; we talk about forgiving even when someone doesn’t deserve it.   We no longer love just those who love us, we love the unlovable.

You cannot talk about God’s love and grace too much with your kids.

A few important definitions to show how this verse is using the words love and faithfulness:

Love – An unselfish, loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another.

Faithfulness – Steadfast in affection or allegiance

What you’ll need:

1. Two different colors of beads (we also used some alphabet beads but those are optional)
2. String
3. Jump rings (6 mm)
4. Bead tips
5. Findings (lobster clasps)
6. Scissors
7. Needle-nose pliers
8. Clear fingernail polish

Attach a bead tip to one end of the string.  Thread the string through the base of the bead tip with the end coming through the middle.  Tie several knots on top of each other until the knots are too big to fall back through the bead tip. Snip off the extra string.  Seal the knot with clear fingernail polish (this will help keep it from unraveling).

Once you have the knots tied, slide a jump ring through the hook on the bead tip.  Using needle nose pliers, roll the hook down and then close the bead tip over the knotted string.

This is what it should like like once you have the bead tip and jump ring attached.

Now that you have one end ready to go, cut the string about two inches longer than you want the finished necklace to be.  Once you cut the other end of string, use clear nail polish to make the string feed through the beads without unraveling.

Now you’re ready to call the kiddos and get started!

Before you begin read to them Proverbs 3:3-4, explain God’ love and faithfulness and how he offers them to us even though we do not deserve them.  Then explain that one color of bead represents love and the other color represents faithfulness.  Help them make a necklace they can wear to remind them to show their love and faithfulness to God and to others.

Once you have finished adding all the beads to your necklace, repeat the process of adding a bead tip.  Instead of using a jump ring, attach the lobster claw finding to the hook of the bead tip.  Close the hook and bead tip with the pliers.

This is what it should look like once you’re all finished.

Questions to ask during the activity:

• What is love?
• What is faithfulness?
• How did God show his love and faithfulness to us?
• Did we deserve that love and faithfulness?
• What do we need to do to receive his love and faithfulness?
• What does Proverbs mean when it says to wear love and faithfulness around your neck?
• What are some ways you can show love?
• Can you think of some people to show love to?
• What does it mean to have a good name (reputation)?
• Why do you think showing love and faithfulness will give you a good name?
• What does “win favor” mean?

I’ve thought a lot about this verse and how to teach my children to guard their hearts.  They are so influenced by what they see and hear.   I don’t want them to just follow their feelings as they go through life.  Feelings change so quickly.  I don’t want them to put their allegiance in another person.  People, even the best of them, make mistakes.   I want the source of their lives to come from something greater.  Something unchangeable. Something that will be a solid foundation for them.

If it all starts with our heart…the wellspring, the source of all we do as a person…then, “What do you love,”  has to be the question you ask.

How do you cultivate a love for something that will not change as circumstances change?  How do you love something greater than your feelings?   How do you guard your heart and teach our children to do the same?

You love God.

How do you love God?

You know him.

How do you know him?

You read what he says about himself in the Scriptures.

You cannot love what you do not know.  If you want to love God you must know who he is.  You cannot base your love of him off of who you think God is, but what the infallible word of God says he is.

In parenting, you have to start here.  You have to touch their hearts with the love of God and cultivate a love of his word.  You cannot overemphasize God’s character, his goodness, justice, mercy, power, faithfulness, holiness, sovereignty.  Find ways to show them God’s attributes as you go throughout your day.  He is creator; point him out as you admire creation.  Thank God for his sovereignty even in the hard things that happen so you will rely more on him.  Always remind them just how gracious God is and how great our need is for that grace.  You cannot talk about his grace too much.  You cannot talk about God’s love for us enough.   And when they realized just how undeserved God’s love for us is, their love for him will grow.  Tell them over and over and over, that it is not our behavior that matters to God; it is our hearts.  Hearts that are made clean through Christ.

The heart matters most.

If we are to guard our hearts, we must start with a love God and seek to know him through his word. Once your children have these truths to guard their hearts they have the foundation they need to stand firm through anything life throws their way.

For Valentines Day, Princess L gave Precious A one of her favorite stuffed animals. She was so sad when she gave it away because she loved it so much. Precious A didn't want to accept it, but Princess L said she wanted to show her love to Precious A by giving A something that Princess L really loved...That night we had a great talk about how God gave up what he loved for us...His own Son!! Don't miss the opportunities you have to show them the heart matters most!!

Kids catch attitudes quicker than they catch a cold.  This is clear to me in how quickly they adopt my moods.   When I am upbeat and laughing, it makes a difference in their outlook.   But it sure seems true that if momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.  There must be something wired into us to help us sympathize with others.  My attitude makes a huge difference in my house.

Because of this in our home we try to express a positive attitude about earning money and saving money.

If one of the kids wants to buy something I ask them if they have the money.   I try not to say things like, “you can’t afford that” or “you don’t have the money.”  Instead I ask them “what can you do to earn the money?” or “how can you afford it?”.  I want them to learn at an early age to be industrious and diligent and to come up with ways to earn what they want.  If I only tell them “sorry, you don’t have the money” and leave it at that, it sends a message that could defeat the entrepreneurial fire inside of them waiting to be ignited.

My husband picked this attitude up somewhere along the way and it is beginning to rub off on me.  I want it to rub off on the small fries too.

I don’t want them to ever say things like “I’ll never have money for ____” or “I’ll never be able to save up for ____.”  Somehow we have a way of ending up exactly where we expect to be.

Instilling diligence (steady, earnest, and energetic effort) seems to be a positive way to help teach the kiddos that money is available for those who work for it.

We have a list of chores and a certain amount of money that can be earned for completing that chore correctly.  They don’t get the money if they aren’t diligent to finish the task!  This can drive Precious A nuts!!  But she is learning that HOW you do your job is just as important as completing a job.  The task is not really finished until it is finished correctly.

This type of training is really hard for mom and dad too!  It is so much easier for me to just go behind my kids and “finish” their work for them.  Or just do it in the first place.  It takes a lot more time to demonstrate how it is to be done, then allow them to do it on their own, then help them see what they missed, and then show them how to do it better next time.   Having them be responsible to do the job correctly and then rewarding them for doing the job well will hopefully encourage them to keep working hard from the beginning instead of having to do the job over two or three times!!  It requires more effort on my part but it will prepare them so much more for the responsibilities they will have as adults.

Princess L doing dinner dishes for the first time.

I try to be really careful about my attitude, especially  when it comes to work.  I don’t want my kids to see me complaining about the responsibilities I have.  I want them to see me doing my daily tasks with joy.   Cooking dinner is the one I struggle with the most!!

Working with diligence isn’t something my kids do naturally.  But by modeling it for them and expecting it from them, I hope their moneytudes will grow to be good ones!!

Proverbs 8:10-11  Choose my instruction instead of silver, knowledge rather than choice gold, for wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can compare to with her. (ESV)

James 1:5  If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. (ESV)

What if I told you I had a treasure map that was guaranteed to lead you to the greatest treasure ever to be discovered?

Would you accept a copy of the map if I were to offer it to you?

Would you lay it on a shelf and say, “I’ll have time for that later? It isn’t worth my effort today?”

Or would you with excitement, grab your kids and say, “Let’s go for a treasure hunt? This map guarantees that we will find a treasure beyond our wildest imaginations?”

Today’s activity is to help you show your children how valuable wisdom is and how to kindle in their hearts the desire to seek wisdom.  Because we have been given a treasure that is infinite in value and available to all who seek it!!

What you’ll need to get started:

• Their favorite toy, blanket, special item, or treasure
• Pre-written clues or treasure map

Start by reading them the above verses.  Explain that wisdom is the best treasure in the world and that God has promised that whoever asks for wisdom will receive it.  Our job is simply to seek out wisdom like the treasure it is. Explain how if we love and value something we are willing to look for it like a treasure even if it is hard.

To show this, have your kids bring you their special item.  Compare wisdom to their special item.  Show them that as much as they love their special item and would search to find it, so should they treasure and seek wisdom.

Hide their special item somewhere in the house or yard. (Have them count like you would while playing hide-n-seek)

Then have them read the pre-written clues or treasure map that will lead them to the next location in their search.

Explain how when we study God’s word we reading God’s treasure map to discover wisdom.

Explain the importance of never giving up on the search!

Keep looking!!

Because the joy of discovering the treasure is always worth the effort it takes to find it!!

Here are some questions to ask once they have found their treasure:

• What is the treasure God has promised us?
• Why do we know that if we seek wisdom we will find it?
• What is true wisdom (look at I Cor 2:6-16)?
• Where do we go to look for true wisdom?
• What can distract us from our search of wisdom?
• What can we do to stay focused on our quest?

One of the character traits I want to train into my kids is thankfulness.  Not just saying thank you when they get a gift or for dinner in some rote manner or robotic reflex.  It’s deeper than that.  It’s the idea that their hearts would be so full of gratitude that they are always satisfied with what they have.  I think the starting point for gratitude training is to help them understand that God made them and they owe him everything.   I want to help them know God is the source of all their talents and their toys.  If they are good at something and someone compliments them for it, the praise should be deflected to God, the source of their talent.  If they enjoy a certain toy, they tell God thank you for giving someone the idea to make the toy.  Even enjoyment itself comes from God and they can be thankful they get to find joy in their toy.

Once they get this concept their gratitude should flow naturally.  And they will be satisfied with what they already have and sincerely thankful for anything they receive.

To help them along I had them write (the two older ones) thank you notes to God, telling him 5 things they were thankful for. The boys just told me what they were thankful for.  It gets the point across well.

 A friend of mine produces some really amazing thank you cards.  Her website is thankyouinabox.com.  She makes the cutest personalized thank you card sets.  And each set even comes with postage stamps – so one less post office trip!  These are a wonderful way to express thanks in a personal way.  You can even put your name or the name of your child on the card as personalized stationary.  Having a set of these on-hand and using them when you need to give thanks is a great idea.  Check them out by clicking the picture below (Warning:  Check your speaker level before you click – the site has music)

Yesterday I wrote about how different Daniel and I are in our approach to money in the article, Do You Have Enough Money (he’s the nerd; I’m the free spirit!).  Even though we may be different, our goal (to teach our children to be good stewards of their money and possessions) is the same.

To help them get excited about working hard and saving up what they earn, I helped them make personal money jars.  (Princess L saw a similar idea in a Strawberry Shortcake craft book and wanted to try it)

Before we began, we read the Proverb of the Week, Proverbs 21:20, and talked about why a wise person would save some of what he or she earned.

To do this you’ll need:

• Mod Podge
• Brushes
• Pre-cut paper (do this ahead of time with a punch, I used a circle punch but any shape works)
• Recycled glass jar (I used curved spaghetti jars for three of the jars, I recommend using only a flat edged jar, I’ll point out why this makes a difference in the pictures)
• An old sheet or tablecloth with newspaper underneath to protect your table from the inevitable glue spills

Start by giving the jar a coat of Mod Podge.  Work in sections making sure you don’t work too far ahead.

Once you get a the first layer on, coat the back of the pre-cut shape with Mod Podge. Then stick it on the jar.

Once you have it in place cover it with a coat of Mod Podge.  We found it would stick easier the more glue we used!

Then continue around the jar adding shapes  and smoothing out the glue until you have the jar covered the way you want.

Once you have all the shapes in place give it a final coat of Mod Podge looking for drippy areas.  You don’t want the glue to be too thick or it will not dry clear.

This jar was the easiest to work with because it had the flattest surface.

Allow the jars to dry then apply another two or three coats.  I have read that you can sand them down between coats and get a smooth finished look, but my kids were so excited to use their jars that the three coats of Mod Podge was good enough for them!

Let your kids do as much of the jar as possible.  When they do it on their own, there is a sense of accomplishment that they created something.  It may not be perfect, but it is theirs.  They made it.  They will have a feeling of ownership that will make them much more excited to use their jar!

Notice on the three jars in front that the top of the jars have a curved edge. We found it hard to get the circles to lay flat to the glass and not bubble or cause weird creases. If you want to avoid that problem just pick a glass jar with a flatter surface like the jar in the back of the picture.

Here are some questions to ask while they work:

• Why does the Bible say a man or woman is foolish when they use up all they have?
• In what ways have you been foolish with your money?
• When was a time that you were wise and saved?
• How did it make you feel when you worked hard and saved your money?
• What might happen if you used all your money and then had an opportunity to help someone by giving?
• Is our money just for us?
• How can you start now earning money, saving money, and giving money?

Proverb For Life - Proverbs 21:20   “Precious treasure and oil are in a wise man’s dwelling, but a foolish man devours it.” (ESV)

In my home my husband is the nerd (in a good way) and I am the free-spirit when it comes to just about everything, but especially money.  He builds spreadsheet upon spreadsheet to track the minutia of our fiscal spending and saving.  He has five and ten year outlooks and projections, plans for obtaining many different streams of income to reduce income dependency on a single source.  He is definitely the CFO of the family.

I  rarely think about money at all.   It’s just not on my radar unless he brings it up or if I need to check up on the budget and see how much I have left for groceries this month.  By nature I am not a big spender; I actually hate to go shopping and only go if I am forced to because of a need (or something I really, really want and then I just use Amazon anyway so I don’t have to go to the mall!).

When I read this verse I am thankful that he is this way because he is the perfect balance to me in this area.  But even more so, I am thankful that his attitude toward possessions is to give freely, live frugally, and prepare for the future.

I want our kids, who like most kids have the tendency to spend every dollar they get, to learn from Daniel’s leadership in this area.  I want them to have the wisdom to see that it’s wise to save some of what they earn.  I want them to learn that money is a tool that they can use to make a difference in the lives of others.  To have it on-hand, ready to give, or to invest, is wise.  I want our kiddos to learn to account for their money (and things) like a good manager would, knowing that it is all God’s and he has entrusted them with those possessions.

It is all God’s!  What he chooses to put it in our hands or withhold is his decision.  I want my children to learn to take care of everything God blesses them with.

Do I want them to be rich, stingy snobs?  No way.  Do I want them to be dirt poor and consider stealing?  No thanks.  I just want them to have some precious treasure and oil around to enjoy and share with others.  If they devour it all, that won’t happen.

Tomorrow I will show you an activity we did with our kids to provide a fun way for them to save and to help teach them Proverbs 21:20.

Ouch.

I wish I could say that I was a wise, righteous woman in my response to correction and teaching more often.

I’m not.

My pride raises it’s ugly head and I make all the excuses in the world for why I know better than whoever is correcting me, or even voicing a differing opinion than mine.

My response shows my folly.

As I have been reading 1 Corinthians over the last two weeks I have thought a lot about my own pride. The deep-seeded hidden pride of my innermost heart.

In the first 7 chapters Paul rebukes the Corinthians because of their quarreling and immaturity which has its root in Pride.  Double ouch!  Pride is a revelation of spiritual immaturity.

Then, in chapter 13 Paul writes some of the most beautiful words in the Bible about love.

And for the first time, it hit me, the antidote to pride is love.  True, genuine, selfless love.  The kind of love Paul describes in 1 Corinthians 13.

Love that is patient. Love that is kind. Love that does not boast. Love that is not proud. Love that is not rude. Love that is not self-seeking. Love that is not easily angered.  Love that keeps no record of wrong.   Love that rejoices in truth.  Love that always protects.  Love that always trusts.  Love that always hopes. Love that always perseveres.  Love that never fails.  I have heard this so many times before but never thought of it as a solution to my pride.

When someone (especially my husband) offers constructive criticism my pride is wounded and I am easily angered.  Instead of seeking to learn how to do better, I excuse, defend, ignore, reject, and even avoid because in my pride, I feel that I have been wronged.  I remember it next time.  I keep account.  I am far too often a mocking fool.

What difference in my relationships would I see if my responses would be in Love, not pride?   What if I was patient, allowing them time to fully explain what they are trying to say instead of jumping to conclusions? What if I rejoiced in the truth that was being spoken, even if it hurt?  What if I died to self and sought the heart of God through the situation?   What if I was willing to forgive without an apology if they were jumping to conclusions?  What if I was willing to be offended for the sake of the relationship?  What if I didn’t think of past offenses?  What if I loved my neighbor more than I loved myself?

When I respond in pride, I rob myself of the opportunity to be like Christ and exemplify for my children what being a true servant means.  I show them instead how to act like a fool who knows it all and has nothing left to learn.  I show them a contempt for others who I consider inferior to me and my knowledge regardless of what God is teaching them.

Oh, to show them instead Love. Love that reaches into the farthest hidden corner of my heart to drive out my pride.

I long to be like Christ who humbled himself, made himself a servant, and gave himself to death, even the death of the cross.

Love: the antidote to pride.

What are some ways pride impacts your relationships?

How could God be trying to help you thru the comments of someone else?

Are you open to having your beliefs and actions challenged?

Tough questions for me to deal with.

]]> http://www.proverbsforlife.com/what-is-your-reaction-to-rebuke/feed/ 0 http://www.proverbsforlife.com/youve-got-mail-activity/ http://www.proverbsforlife.com/youve-got-mail-activity/#comments Thu, 09 Feb 2012 21:00:17 +0000 Mandi http://www.proverbsforlife.com/?p=393 Proverb For Life - Proverbs 8:34-35  “Blessed is the one who listens to me [wisdom], watching daily at my gates, waiting beside my doors.  For whoever finds me finds life and obtains favor from the LORD.”  (ESV)

I love getting mail.  Real mail. The kind that arrives by mailman.  The handwritten, filled with love, required some thought, kind of mail.

My kids love getting any kind of mail.  They eagerly await the arrival of the mail truck so they can go check the mail and bring it in.  Little Man and Big Boy insist that the circulars are their mail; I happily hand it over to them.

Their excitement can hardly be contained when they receive mail with their name on it.  Mail that is just for them.

I saw a picture on Pinterest that inspired me to make mailboxes with my kids.

I initially wanted to make beautiful mailboxes myself (like the ones in the picture) and then give them to the kids for valentines day filled with little goodies. But I thought that using this activity as an opportunity to illustrate the greatest letter ever written and the need for a tender heart was worth the sacrifice of pretty mailboxes filled with goodies.

What you’ll need:

• Mailbox (Target Spot section)
• Decorations (paper, markers, glitter)
• Heart Paper Punch (mine is from Creative Memories)
• Scissors
• Candlestick (I got mine from the Dollar Tree)
• Strong glue (like E-6000) for attaching the mailbox to the candlestick
• Regular Glue (I used Elmer’s Craft Glue) for gluing paper to the mailbox

I started the activity by asking, “Who likes to get letters?”  Of course they all said, “Me!!” (we are working on getting them to respond with, “I”, but whatever…Princess L is the only one who does it consistently and she was in Atlanta!!)

Then I asked these questions:

• What was the greatest letter ever written? (Bible)
• Who was it to?
• Who was it from?
• Where does this letter go? (In our hearts)
• What if we don’t open our hearts?
• How can we prepare our hearts to receive God’s letter?
• Who gives us a new heart to want God’s letter?
• What will we do if we are excited about our letter?

Even Precious A’s friend who was over for the day had a good time and answered the questions right along with the small fries.   The girls use their mailboxes to send one another letters. I am going to use the mailboxes to deposit one verse of the Bible at a time where I pray it will find a soft heart, take root, and grow.

I have two amazing little boys who call me mom.

They followed closely along behind two older sisters.

Now, when I had my girls, I was fairly confident of what to do for them.  We would have tea parties, color, make jewelry, dress up and do all things girly.  We would talk about boys and makeup and problems at school.  I knew where they would be coming from, I mean after all, I was a girl once…a long, long time ago.

But boys!

Oh snap…I knew nothing about raising boys. Even though I had two younger brothers, I felt RAISING boys would be so much harder. I felt the stakes were so much higher.

A feeling of inadequacy overwhelmed me when I was pregnant with my oldest son.  I felt such a passion to raise him to be a super man.  What kind of worker would he be if I failed him?  What kind of friend would he be if I didn’t do my duty?  What kind of husband and father would he be if I didn’t teach him what being a strong man really looked like?

Thankfully, I am not alone in my task.  I have MY super man that they look up to and want to be just like. If Daniel wears only shorts to bed, then Big Boy will only wear shorts to bed.  Daniel leads by serving, encourages by doing.  This website would not be a reality if it weren’t for the faithful encouragement and support of my best friend.  My boys have a great model to follow.  In fact, I asked Elijah which superhero he wanted to be that night. He replied, “Hmmmm, Daddy!!”

Proverbs 1:8 acts as a warning to me as a mom.  My sons are listening.  They are watching.  They are following.  What am I teaching them without even meaning to?  What lessons do they see as they watch how I treat their father?  What are they learning about life’s priorities as I go about my day?

Our culture portrays desirable men as bachelors and married, family men as idiots.  It’s sad the way women are elevated at the expense of men.  My boys will see this.  They will one day recognize that the world says being unattached, rich, and handsome makes them desirable.

One day my boys will grow into men. But what kind of men?

Strong men?

Brave men?

Gentle men?

Selfish men?

Arrogant men?

Indifferent men?

I pray they grow into Godly men.  Men who are strong enough to stand up and lead their families.  Men who are brave enough to go against the current of culture.  Men who are gentle enough to cherish their wives and children.  Men who are selfless enough to generously give of their time and resources.  Men who are humble enough seek after God with all their heart.

I want them to be Supermen!

Our Big Boy