I love getting mail.  Real mail. The kind that arrives by mailman.  The handwritten, filled with love, required some thought, kind of mail.

My kids love getting any kind of mail.  They eagerly await the arrival of the mail truck so they can go check the mail and bring it in.  Little Man and Big Boy insist that the circulars are their mail; I happily hand it over to them.

Their excitement can hardly be contained when they receive mail with their name on it.  Mail that is just for them.

I saw a picture on Pinterest that inspired me to make mailboxes with my kids.

I initially wanted to make beautiful mailboxes myself (like the ones in the picture) and then give them to the kids for valentines day filled with little goodies. But I thought that using this activity as an opportunity to illustrate the greatest letter ever written and the need for a tender heart was worth the sacrifice of pretty mailboxes filled with goodies.

What you’ll need:

• Mailbox (Target Spot section)
• Decorations (paper, markers, glitter)
• Heart Paper Punch (mine is from Creative Memories)
• Scissors
• Candlestick (I got mine from the Dollar Tree)
• Strong glue (like E-6000) for attaching the mailbox to the candlestick
• Regular Glue (I used Elmer’s Craft Glue) for gluing paper to the mailbox

I started the activity by asking, “Who likes to get letters?”  Of course they all said, “Me!!” (we are working on getting them to respond with, “I”, but whatever…Princess L is the only one who does it consistently and she was in Atlanta!!)

Then I asked these questions:

• What was the greatest letter ever written? (Bible)
• Who was it to?
• Who was it from?
• Where does this letter go? (In our hearts)
• What if we don’t open our hearts?
• How can we prepare our hearts to receive God’s letter?
• Who gives us a new heart to want God’s letter?
• What will we do if we are excited about our letter?

Even Precious A’s friend who was over for the day had a good time and answered the questions right along with the small fries.   The girls use their mailboxes to send one another letters. I am going to use the mailboxes to deposit one verse of the Bible at a time where I pray it will find a soft heart, take root, and grow.

I have two amazing little boys who call me mom.

They followed closely along behind two older sisters.

Now, when I had my girls, I was fairly confident of what to do for them.  We would have tea parties, color, make jewelry, dress up and do all things girly.  We would talk about boys and makeup and problems at school.  I knew where they would be coming from, I mean after all, I was a girl once…a long, long time ago.

But boys!

Oh snap…I knew nothing about raising boys. Even though I had two younger brothers, I felt RAISING boys would be so much harder. I felt the stakes were so much higher.

A feeling of inadequacy overwhelmed me when I was pregnant with my oldest son.  I felt such a passion to raise him to be a super man.  What kind of worker would he be if I failed him?  What kind of friend would he be if I didn’t do my duty?  What kind of husband and father would he be if I didn’t teach him what being a strong man really looked like?

Thankfully, I am not alone in my task.  I have MY super man that they look up to and want to be just like. If Daniel wears only shorts to bed, then Big Boy will only wear shorts to bed.  Daniel leads by serving, encourages by doing.  This website would not be a reality if it weren’t for the faithful encouragement and support of my best friend.  My boys have a great model to follow.  In fact, I asked Elijah which superhero he wanted to be that night. He replied, “Hmmmm, Daddy!!”

Proverbs 1:8 acts as a warning to me as a mom.  My sons are listening.  They are watching.  They are following.  What am I teaching them without even meaning to?  What lessons do they see as they watch how I treat their father?  What are they learning about life’s priorities as I go about my day?

Our culture portrays desirable men as bachelors and married, family men as idiots.  It’s sad the way women are elevated at the expense of men.  My boys will see this.  They will one day recognize that the world says being unattached, rich, and handsome makes them desirable.

One day my boys will grow into men. But what kind of men?

Strong men?

Brave men?

Gentle men?

Selfish men?

Arrogant men?

Indifferent men?

I pray they grow into Godly men.  Men who are strong enough to stand up and lead their families.  Men who are brave enough to go against the current of culture.  Men who are gentle enough to cherish their wives and children.  Men who are selfless enough to generously give of their time and resources.  Men who are humble enough seek after God with all their heart.

I want them to be Supermen!

Our Big Boy

I am so thankful for my friends.  My friends who walk beside me through life, encouraging me on the hard days, laughing with me on the silly days, and dreaming with me about the future.  Friends who listen.  Friends who care.  Friends who take time out of their day to invest in my life.  Friends who go to God on my behalf.  Friends who trust me with their heartaches and their happiest moments.  Friends who challenge me to be the mom and wife God has called me to be.  I could not say thank you enough to them for the gift of their friendship!

One of my deepest desires is to be this kind of friend to them as well.  It is so easy to get wrapped up in my day and my concerns that I miss the opportunity to BE the kind of friend God calls me to be.  With God’s grace, I hope my friends not only know how much I dearly love them, but that they feel that love too.

I want to raise my children to understand what a true friend is.  I want them to choose carefully the people they allow to be their best friends.  Friends who will be there for them when they need it most.  Loyal friends. Godly Friends.

But even more important than having Godly friends, I want them to BE Godly friends.  This is so hard for my eldest who is at an age where impressing her friends is all that matters – or at least it seems that way.

We did this activity with all the kids, but it was especially important for me to have Precious A really think about what being a good friend looks like.

You’ll need some note cards or you can just make your own.  (The girls’ cards came from Michael’s and the boys had blank cards that they colored from Hobby Lobby that were left over from Christmas gifts I made for their teachers).

We read the verse of the week to the kiddos (Proverbs 17:17).  We talked about what the verse meant when it said a friend loves at all times and what that would look like.

Then we had the kids pick one friend that they would write a note to.  Before they wrote the note, they had to tell us 5 things they liked about the person they chose. I wrote those 5 traits on a 3 x 5 card so they could keep the card.

Then they wrote.

Precious A wrote a beautiful note to her best friend.

Princess L drew a picture and wrote, “I love you,” to a friend.

Little Man and Big Boy colored their cards and told me what to write!!

Then we talked about the things they could do to BE a friend.

Here are some questions to ask to get them thinking about what makes a good friend and how they can BE a good friend:

• How does it make you feel when your friend is nice?
• How does it make you feel when your friend is unkind?
• How does it make you feel when your friend is irritating you on purpose?
• In what ways are you nice to your friends?
• In what ways are you unkind?
• What are some things you do that are irritating to others?
• How can you encourage your friends to do the right thing?
• What is your response when they are encouraging YOU to do the right thing?
• Do you do things just so people will like you?
• What is better?  Having people like you for doing the wrong things or having people like you because you do the right thing?
• Do you want the people who like you for doing the wrong thing to be your friends? Why or why not??
• What are you going to ask God to help you change so you can be a better friend to your friends?

The second half of the verse says that a brother is born for adversity.  If your child has siblings you can remind them that although their sibling is not perfect (just like they are not perfect),  their sibling was born to be a support for when life gets tough.  They can even be a best friend.

For those of you that LOVE Valentines Day, I apologize for what I am about to say right now.

I think Valentines Day is a really silly holiday.  Single people feel left out because of all the couples.  Couples feel obligated to buy stuff to show their affection.  I’ve heard it called the hallmark holiday, and I totally agree; it’s the holiday invented to sell cards.  Daniel and I have never really celebrated it for each other, although we do get the kids a little something.  They think the holiday is great because they get candy (they usually don’t get candy unless it’s a holiday).

If I don’t express my love to Daniel and the kids all through the year, one day is not going to make up for my failure to do the little things that daily demonstrate how much I love them. Little things that mean a lot to Daniel, like getting up early with him and making him breakfast.  Little things to precious A, like greeting her with excitement when she gets home.  Little things to Princess L like scratching her back. Little things to Big Boy like hugs, kisses, eskimos, butterflies, and dandies before I leave.   Little things to Little Man like playing kitty and airplane with him.

I talked before in an earlier post about wanting to be purposeful this year (you can read that in the post Watch Your Step).

This is especially true in the area of relationships.  So often I take my friendships for granted.  I want to change that.  I want to be a friend, loving at all times, comforting in the time of adversity, showing my friends how much I truly appreciate their friendship.  I am not as good as I want to be about doing the little things to show my friends just how much I love them.  I long to do better.

I want to show my kids what being a true friend really means.  I want them to BE a true friend.  I want them to be wise in the choice of their friends.

So instead of shunning Valentines Day, I thought I would redirect the focus to our friendships in preparation for the holiday next week (hallmark holiday though it may be!), hence the Proverb of the Week for this week.

Tomorrow I’ll have a little project you and your kids can do in preparation for Valentines Day, one that will also show them the principles of what a true friend looks like as well.

A friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be. ~Douglas Pagels

]]> http://www.proverbsforlife.com/true-friendship-proverb-of-the-week/feed/ 0 http://www.proverbsforlife.com/delighting-in-motherhood/ http://www.proverbsforlife.com/delighting-in-motherhood/#comments Fri, 03 Feb 2012 19:30:51 +0000 Mandi http://www.proverbsforlife.com/?p=366 Psalm 127:3  Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
the fruit of the womb a reward. (ESV – Psalm 127 was also written by King Solomon)

I have been blessed beyond measure with the gift of my 4 children.

This week I have shared how I struggle with frustration and responding in anger (you can read about that in the post Did I Really Just Say That? and see an activity in the post Soda Explosion: A Demonstration of Anger).

But I love being a mom.  There is nothing I would rather do than spend my days surrounded by my little ones, and my not-so-little-any-more one.

I love feeling the warmth of Little Man’s hand in mine.  The tender slide of his arm as it hooks around my neck for a hug.  The small little voice that tells me, “I lub you mom.”

I love Big Boy’s random kisses on my leg.  His shy little smile as he tells me, “You look pretty, mommy.”  That he asked me to marry him.

I love Princess L’s tender heart and the way she cares for others.  Her compassion and her nurturing.  Her watchfulness for the needs of her little brothers.  The way she adores her big sister.

I love Precious A’s passion and excitement.  Her zest for what she does.  Her expressive nature.  Her not being too old to snuggle with me…yet!

I love being their mom.

It’s okay if that’s what primarily defines who I am and what I do during this phase of my life.

I treasure the time I have with them, and on the hard days, reminding myself of all the reasons I love them makes the struggle seem not so overwhelming.

Sometimes teaching a principle of wisdom is simply taking advantage of the opportunities you already have while doing the activities you already do.

We have a great dog.

His name is Caspian after the Narnia character.  We have no idea what “kind” of a dog he is.  Just the kind that has four legs, a tail, and floppy ears. We got him from the pound when he was just 7 weeks old.  At the time we had one 6 year old and a baby 3 weeks from being born, and we lived in an upstairs apartment.  Pure genius.  Potty training was not fun.

Kinda cute huh?

Since we adopted him he has grown into a 65lb giant!  And of course we didn’t realize we would have 4 rambunctious kiddos and one large dog!

At times, well, every day, Cass is just like having another kid.  He is messy (sheds everywhere!).  He does not wipe his feet before coming in (he likes to run right through the mud holes the kids dig). He steals food (seriously! He will take it right out of your hand).

But, he lets the kids crawl all over him (he think the kids are his sometimes).   He is up for a game of chase anytime (but doesn’t like to play catch). He loves to snuggle (with the pillow, the kids, the blanket, anything).  He is the best guard dog ever (you do not want to walk in uninvited…trust me!)

But he requires care (he relies on us for everything just like most of the kids).

The kids love their dog.

They just aren’t big fans of caring for him.

Last Friday, we got to take a class at the zoo for the small fries since they homeschool (well, technically Big Boy and Little Man are still too young for school, but they got to go too).

After the class was over we got to go explore the zoo on our own.

While we were walking around, we talked about how important it is to care for animals.  I tried to point out the animals that were close to extinction (although we didn’t get around to as many as I wanted too…little feet were hurting and nap time was fast approaching!)

We discussed how God says a man is wise when he takes care of his animals.  Proverbs 12:10

Here are some of the questions I asked:

• What would happen to the animals in the zoo if people didn’t feed them?
• What would happen to the animals if people didn’t clean up after them?
• Why is it important to take care of animals in the wild?
• What are some ways that you can take care of animals?  (Princess L said, “We can feed Cass and clean up after him!!”  Gold star for connecting the dots!!)

What are some every day activities you can think of that you can use as a training tool?

 Frustrations will happen.

Disappointments will happen.

Disagreements will happen.

Because fighting my frustrations is such a daily battle I thought I would not only share my struggle, but also share with you what has helped me over the last two months in my fight.

Instead of taking a deep breath and counting to ten before you lose it, try adding these steps until your first response is most often one of healing, not hurting.    These are the things that I have been applying in my own life.  Things to humble me and remind me that I too am a recipient of God’s Grace when I did not deserve it and God’s Love when I did not earn it.

1. Stop, Drop and Pray – Sometimes my prayer is simple, “God, I can’t do this.  Help me.”  Sometime I have more time and can pour out my hurts and frustrations to him.  Whether you have a minute or an hour, pray.  Change will not come through your efforts, but His power.  Rely on that Grace when you need it most.  (Jude 24 Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy)
2. Read – You could start in Proverbs.  Read one chapter a day.  Whatever it is, just keep reading.  Keep studying.  Keep seeking. (Psalm 119: 9-10 How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word. With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments!)
3. Memorize – Pick a verse and put it to memory.  Write it on note cards.  Put it in a prominent place where you’ll see it as you go about your day.  Because you have memorized it, when those moments come, you can be ready.  (Psalm 119:11 I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.)
4. Talk about it – If you haven’t done so, go back and do step one first.  After you have done that, go to your spouse or a trusted friend that you can be vulnerable with.  Tell them your struggles and ask them to pray with you and for you.  (James 5:16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.)
5. Apologize – You are going to blow it.  Apologize immediately.  Don’t excuse or explain.  Don’t make your child feel guilty for your sin (ugh, so often I make it all their fault instead of accepting responsibility for my own failure).  Apologize and admit that you were wrong.  Humbly ask them to forgive you.  Then use it as an opportunity to show them how all have sinned and fallen short of God’s glory, that even mommy needs God’s help every day to do what is right.  You can be just as powerful an example in your failures as in your successes.

Yesterday I shared with you my struggle of answering softly when I am frustrated with my kiddos.  (You can read that here.)  I wanted to illustrate to my children what happens when we keep responding with harsh words.

For this activity you’ll need two 20 oz bottles of soda.  (We used cans, but it may actually work better to use a bottle…)

And you’ll need to go outside!

I read the verse Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Then we had Little Man yell at Princess L.  Instead of her yelling back, we had her tell Little Man how much she loves him and how sorry she was that she did something to upset him.

Little Man stopped yelling immediately and said, “I lub you too.” (Proved my point before I could even try to make it!!)

We had Princess L shake the can once and then set it down. The harsh words were turned away by the kindness Princess L showed her little brother, so the can didn’t get stirred up any more.

Then we opened that can.  No explosion!

Then I asked Big Boy to yell at Little Man.  This seems to be the most common form of yelling that goes on amongst the small fries.

Immediately, Little Man started yelling back.

For every harsh word, Precious A had to shake the can.

(You can do this even if you only have one child.  When you say something harsh, have him or her shake the bottle)

After Precious A shook the life out of that can, she popped the top.

Explosion!!!!

Ask questions when you are done:

• What happened when you spoke in a harsh, angry voice?
• Why do you think he/she responded to you in an angry voice?
• What happened when you spoke in a soft, gentle voice?
• In which voice would you rather have some one speak to you?
• What is a good way to respond when some one is speaking angrily to you?
• Who can help you when you want to speak harshly?

The kids had a fun time seeing just how explosive anger can be.

Today, Princess L and Big Boy were sitting on the couch and Princess L started to yell, then she paused, stopped herself and asked Big Boy to stop in  a nice voice.  She said, “Remember, angry words make you explode!”  It made me smile!!

When I write, I find it easier to be honest with myself.  When I write, I find it easy to pour my heart out.  When I write, I find hope.     I have a journal of my prayers.  I have written my dreams.  I have shared stories and snippets from my day by writing.  I started Proverbs For Life because I wanted to use my writing to help encourage others who share the same struggles I have.

When I write about the spiritual lessons I am learning my inclination is to write about the lessons I have learned in the past and things I hope to accomplish in the future.

This week’s verse encapsulates my day-to-day struggle as a mother.

Not the words that come out of my mouth, but the tone with which those words are spoken.

I wish I could say that the emotion I feel most often during my day is love, gratitude, or peace.

Instead it is most often frustration.

Frustration that someone woke up too early.  Frustration that the dog ate my sandwich, and then the sandwich I made to replace the first sandwich he also ate.  Frustration that the kids are being mean to each other.  Frustration that the kids are not moving quickly enough.  Frustration because I was interrupted.  Frustration because food was spilled on the floor I just mopped.  Frustration because of  so many things that go differently than how I expected them to go throughout the day.   I hate it that the people I love the most are often the ones that cause me the most frustration.  The people I want to show the most affection to are the ones that hear my harsh words.

When I sit to write about this verse, I am forced to be honest and write from a place of brokenness because of my own struggle.

My first reaction is not always soft.

My first reaction is often harsh.

My first reaction is just that, a reaction.

Most days it seemed the only way to get the attention of my children was to raise my voice.  Then I started to hear exactly what I sounded like because my children would talk like me to each other.  There is nothing quite so eye opening as hearing your tone coming from a two year old.

In my study of Acts (through Bible Study Fellowship a.k.a. BSF), the power of the Holy Spirit is clearly reveled in the lives of Paul, Timothy, Silas, Barnabas and others.  They responded with praise after being beaten and jailed.

Praise. Thankfulness. Joy.

Praise for the hardship.  Thankfulness for the opportunity to display God’s glory.  Joy at being counted worth to suffer.

That is not my normal reaction when something goes wrong.

A little over two months ago I asked God to help me change my thoughtless reactions into thoughtful responses.  It seems like such a subtle difference.  And through his enabling I am not failing as often as I was, although I am no where near where I long to be.

This is Proverbs For Life’s verse of the week because I need it.

When my children look back on their childhood what will they remember?  Harsh Mom or Soft Mom? It is my prayer that through the Holy Spirit’s power it will be Soft Mom!

On Tuesday I’ll show you the activity we did with the kids to illustrate this verse in a fun way and to help them realize how their words, and how they say those words, can affect people.

Four of the best reasons ever for speaking softly!

]]> http://www.proverbsforlife.com/did-i-really-just-say-that-proverb-of-the-week/feed/ 3 http://www.proverbsforlife.com/do-i-really-trust-god/ http://www.proverbsforlife.com/do-i-really-trust-god/#comments Fri, 27 Jan 2012 14:00:17 +0000 Mandi http://www.proverbsforlife.com/?p=225 Proverbs 3:5-6  Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. (ESV)

Every Monday you’ll find a new verse of the week on the right sidebar.  Since Proverbs For Life was not quite ready to roll out on Monday, I am doing it today instead.

This verse is the one I am teaching my children this week.  Precious A and Princess L are a bit older so they will memorize both verses, but the little men are going to work on the first part…trust the Lord with all your heart.

I chose this verse for a couple of reasons.  The first is because of where I am at this point of my life.  There are so many days I feel inadequate to do what God has called me to do and be in all the different areas of responsibility I have.  If I struggle with knowing the right things to do with my kids how can I encourage others?  I not by nature a structured person; how can I stick to a home-schooling schedule? I am really busy keeping up with 4 kiddos: how can I fit it all in?

It is a sacrifice to home school. There are times I would much rather be doing something else during the boys' naps, but it is worth the sacrifice.

In all of those excuses it is all about me.  My reasons for NOT doing things usually has more to do with ME and my feelings than with what God would have me do.   Even in my saying YES to things I often find I say yes because it is something I like to do, or because it is too hard to say no (I fight being a people-pleaser at times, okay a lot!).

So for me this verse is important because I have to focus not on my own understanding, but rather on God’s plan and purpose for my life and allow him to direct me as I go about my day in the little things as well as the big ones.

The other reason for picking this verse is because of where my kiddos are in life, particularly Precious A.

She is entering her teen years.  She is struggling to fit in, yet stand out.  She is wondering why God made her the way he did.   I want to impress on her and the small fries the importance of trusting God and knowing exactly who he is so they will trust him.  God is sovereign and in control.  God is good.  God is holy. God is just.  God is faithful.  God does not change.  God is merciful.  God is all-powerful.  God is all-knowing.

If they see God’s character and how he is at work in their lives now, they will be able to trust him and not just rely on their own perspective on life.

It will take more than a week for them to fully understand.  I am learning more about God’s character and trusting him every day.  I think it will take an eternity to learn! But we have to start somewhere.  Join me?