I hate saying goodbye.  Even more, I hate saying goodbye to someone or something I dearly love.

I have been in my BSF class for the last 4 years.  For the last year and a half I have had the pleasure of being a group leader with some pretty amazing women.  I have laughed, cried, prayed, studied, and grown with some of the most precious women I know.  I have learned so much from their transparency during struggles.  I have rejoiced with them when prayers have been answered.  I have served along side like-minded people who are passionate about sharing the truth of God and his word. And today, I said goodbye to these dear friends.

Next fall, I’ll be homeschooling Precious A and Princess L.  Princess L will start first grade and Precious A will be in 7th.  I know home is where I need to be during this time.  But it still isn’t easy to say goodbye.  I don’t know when I will see some of these women again. When I think of next fall, I am filled with such a mixture of emotions. One minute I am so excited to have all four home.  The next, I think I must be crazy to try and have all four home (usually this moment comes when all four are yelling about wanting to sit in the same chair…really? A chair…oh boy!!)

As I sat there in class today listening to all God has done in the lives of the leaders through the study of Acts this year, I was humbled to be a witness to the greatness of God. I was full of joy for all God has done and is doing, but my heart also ached for what I know I will miss next year. I’ll miss the training, the sharing, and yes, even the homiletics! But I am looking forward to seeing what God will do in the lives of my children.
I can’t wait to see the videos that Precious A will produce.
I can’t wait to see Princess L’s love of science blossom and grow (as long as the bugs and frogs stay outside!).
I can’t wait to see Big Boy and Little Man learn to read.

It’s hard to say goodbye.  In my joy of beginning a new adventure, there is sadness for the one I am leaving behind.

Thankfully, I don’t have to say a complete goodbye to BSF.  I’ll be switching classes so the girls can come with me while the boys will get to go with a friend to their current class.

If you are looking for a place to learn more about God and his word go to BSF International to find a class in your area.  It is an international organization, so there may be a class near you!!

I live in the heart of Tornado Alley.  But I didn’t grow up here.  I grew up in the northwestern corner of New Mexico.  They don’t have tornadoes there, or hurricanes, or earthquakes, or floods.  It’s a high desert plateau with nearly perfect weather as far as I am concerned (it can be a little hot and dry at times and that is why it is nearly perfect, not perfect).   I never experienced fear during a thunderstorm until I moved to Oklahoma my senior year of high school.  Actually, I may have never experienced a real thunderstorm until my senior year of high school!!

Since moving to Oklahoma I have feared Spring, or tornado season, as Princess L (and most Oklahomans) calls Spring. The beauty of life beginning to grow again is mixed with the fear that a powerful storm with the ability to rip that life from the ground is just a breath away.  Storms will come in Oklahoma.  All of us who live here know this and have accepted this.

I was pregnant with Little Man and Spring was just around the corner when I couldn’t handle the fear of Spring storms anymore.  It was actually November, but in my mind Spring was just around the corner!  I remember talking with Daniel and explaining my fear…”If you are at work and a tornado hits my arms aren’t big enough to hold all three and there is no where to go that would keep us all safe. What will I do when number 4 gets here?  Where will we go?”  So for Christmas that year, we got a tornado shelter.  Now when I hear the warning, “This is a particularly dangerous situation,” I feel relief.  I have a shelter.  A shelter that can withstand any storm that Oklahoma weather can produce.  But there are so many people I know and love that don’t.

The storms have come.  A year ago one hit just a few miles from our house.  It tore across the state killing 10 people.  Two were little boys who were ripped out of their mother’s arms because they just weren’t strong enough to hold on. Precious A’s best friend and her family lost their home and everything in it.

Yesterday, my dear neighbors got a shelter installed. They were with us last year when the tornado came so close.

My kids sat and watched the process.  They were thrilled that such neat trucks were right there at Ms. Georgeann’s House!

They started the process by cutting a hole in the concrete.  Then they dug a big hole and dropped in a steel shelter.

After the shelter is in place, they poured concrete around all four sides and on the slanted area on the top of the shelter.  They bury it in concrete!!  YES  PLEASE!!

When they are all through, it looks like this.

A refuge from the storm. Any storm.

As I watched my neighbors getting their shelter put in I thought about how I have a much better Shelter than the one in my garage.  A Shelter from very different kinds of storms.

The way of the Lord is my shelter.  I found that shelter 13 years ago…in the Spring.  In May. I believed what Jesus said in John 14:6.  “I am the way, and the truth, and the life.  No man comes to the Father except through me.” At the time, I was in the biggest storm of my life, and when I put my complete trust in Christ,  I felt peace that only comes by yielding my will to God’s. The storm didn’t go away.  In fact, it got a lot worse for a few years.  But once I was IN my Shelter, I never once feared the outcome.  I knew then, as I know now, that being in the will of God is the safest place to be no matter what is happening around me. Because I know who my Shelter is, I have no fear.

I have a tornado shelter, but I still don’t like Oklahoma storms.  My heart breaks for those around me who don’t have shelters.  Even with a shelter, I wouldn’t choose to have a storm hit. And in so many ways it is the same in my spiritual life.  I don’t like storms.  My heart breaks for those who have nothing to hold onto when the storms of life hit them.  I would never choose to go through a storm that rips what I love away. But it is in that very moment when all else seems to be slipping away, that I feel the presence, security, and comfort of my Shelter. I trust him more.  I seek him more.  I love him more.  And when the storm is past, I find my Shelter has carried me safely through.

How do you talk to your children about the storms they will face and the storms you are facing right now?  Do you talk about the security of your Shelter in Christ?  Or do they see only the storm?  Run to your Shelter.  Find in Him the peace that passes all understanding.  Cling tightly to the One who will never leave you or forsake you.  And if you don’t have the ultimate Shelter, now is the perfect time to get Him!!

I love having fun with the small fries.  Too many times I get caught up in the daily routine of things and forget to just have fun.  One of the things I enjoy about doing a different Proverb’s activity each week is the fun we get to have as a family while we do it.  Seeing the kids enjoying themselves is a bonus to all they are learning about the wisdom that comes from the Lord.

Today I wanted to share with you some things I have learned that help make the activities go smoothly….smoothly, not perfectly!!  I have yet to have one go perfectly!

What Not To Do:

• Rule #1: Don’t be an attention Nazi – especially if you are taking the challenge with kids under 5 years.  They just do not have the attention span or comprehension to fully grasp the meanings of the verses.  But they will love the activities!  I encourage you to do them anyway, just set your expectations for their understanding appropriately, and you’ll be surprised what they remember.
• Rule #2: Don’t expect perfection. The activities won’t go perfectly.  The important thing is that you engage your kids with words of wisdom that they will take with them for the rest of their lives.  Do you remember what it was like to be an information sponge? They may not soak it all up, but it will help lay a foundation on which to build.

What To Do:

• Rule #1: Ask God for wisdom and understanding.  Pray that these concepts would sink in for your children.
• Rule #2: Relax.  You don’t have to know everything before you try these.  Read the activity through a few times before you start.
• Rule #3: Have fun!  When your kids see you enjoying the activity, they will as well.  Attitudes are contagious.  You are paving the way for their success in life.  Great job!

Instructions For The Activities:

1. Read through the activity to make sure you understand it and are prepared.
2. Gather the necessary supplies.  Each activity lists the specific items you’ll need.
3. Read the verse twice with the child.
4. Ask the child what they think the verse means.
5. Explain what the verse means.
6. Ask the child to repeat it back to you.
7. Start the activity and have a blast!
8. Ask the questions listed in the activity as you go.
9. Once the activity is finished wrap it up by reading the verse again.
10. Ask how the activity helped them understand the verse.

That’s it!  Simple, yet effective.

Remember:

My kids often make the best teachers.  They teach me more about myself in one day than I could ever learn by years of self-examination.  They act like little mirrors, reflecting my own image back at me.  As I watch them with the eyes and heart of a parent, I see that in many ways I am still so childish in my responses to God.

Yesterday Big Boy learned to ride his bike.  In the process, he showed me how I often respond when God is trying to teach me through something I don’t understand!

At first Big Boy resisted even trying to ride his bike.  He said he just couldn’t do it.  He said he didn’t know how.  He said it was too scary.  He said he wasn’t old enough.  He said to hold on with both hands and not to let go.  He cried…a lot.

As I sat there watching Daniel run along side Big Boy’s bike, I thought about how many times God has asked me to trust him and I respond with pride instead of trust.  I lean on my understanding of the situation. Instead of trusting him and pedaling, I throw my feet out, stop, and cry, “I just don’t know how!! I don’t want to!! I’m not ready for this yet!!”

In the midst of my tantrums, God patiently keeps trying to teach me.

Big Boy wanted to give up.  Daniel needed a break from running.  So I took Big Boy in my arms and whispered, “It’s okay that you don’t know how to do this.  You don’t need to.  I know how and if you listen to what I say, trust me, and do what I tell you, you’ll be able to ride this bike.”  And as I said it, I realized that is just what God wants me to do.  He wants me to listen to him through his word, trust what he has said, and obey.  Even if I don’t understand, he wants me to trust.

Big Boy listened to what I said.  He trusted me.  And when I let go, he discovered he could do exactly what he thought he couldn’t do…he could ride his bike.

]]> http://www.proverbsforlife.com/trusting-even-when-i-dont-understand-proverb-of-the-week/feed/ 0 http://www.proverbsforlife.com/the-hands-of-a-noble-woman/ http://www.proverbsforlife.com/the-hands-of-a-noble-woman/#comments Fri, 11 May 2012 13:55:33 +0000 Mandi http://www.proverbsforlife.com/?p=1752 Proverb for Life – Proverbs 31:31    Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gates.

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you moms who give so selflessly of yourself to meet the needs of your family.  You are indeed worthy of praise!

(I wrote this about a year ago and thought it fitting for today!)

I remember as a child comparing our hands. Hers were rough, red around the knuckles and cracking from the dryness. Her nails, short and unpolished, were slightly ragged at the edges. I could see every line in her hands, but she couldn’t have been much older than I am now, early to mid thirties. But still, I remember thinking how old she must be to have hands liked like that. My hands were much smaller and fit snuggly in the palm of her hand, fingers barely reaching to where her wedding band hugged her ring finger.

“Soft” I remember thinking. My hands were soft. And I promised myself I would never end up with hands like my mother’s. I would not do what she had done to create hands that looked so worn and old. I would forever have soft hands.

It’s funny how through the eyes of a child I saw my young mother as already old and how the older I have become, the younger my mother becomes.

My mom visited us recently. She had been to my brother’s for almost two weeks to help take care of his 6 month old triplets. I noticed her hands again, red and painful from dryness. I now understand what I couldn’t understand as a child. The reason my mom’s hands were dry was due to her willingness to serve others the way she continues to now. She gets up before dawn to see to her family’s needs. She cleans, cooks, serves, loves, and cares for her family without thought to herself. She never asks for a thank you. She often gives until her own health is compromised. And she does it all with a smile and graciousness that I envy.

As a child, I had promised not to do the things that caused my mom’s hands to look worn. Now, her hands inspire me to become more like her. When I see her hands, I see the embodiment of who my mom is. She is a wife and mom of noble character who is worth far more than rubies. She worked with her hands to diaper, feed, and love her children and now her children’s children. She rises early in the morning to provide food for her family. When she speaks it is with wisdom and faithful instruction. She graciously attends to the needs of her family and does not sit idle.

Mom, I will call you blessed, for you are to me the living example of Proverbs 31. I honor you because you did not seek to keep your hands beautiful and young, but you gave of yourself to care for those God placed in your care. You fear the Lord above all, and because you serve Him, you have served us without every seeking praise. My prayer is to follow the example you have set for me. Thank you for giving so much of yourself so I could become who I am.

For the last four years, Precious A has been involved in theater.  When you ask her what she loves to do, she replies, “I love to act.”  This girl has been performing since before she could walk.  I remember even as an infant she would notice the response of her audience and do whatever caused the grins and laughter over and over again.  She feels more comfortable in the spotlight than she does in real life.  “On stage,” she said once, “I can just let go and be as crazy as I want to be without anyone calling me weird.”

Three years ago we enrolled her in a local performing arts class that teaches musical theater.  As part of the training, each student must audition for a role in the upcoming production.  Each time we encouraged A to diligently practice.  She would obligingly spend one afternoon going over a song until she thought she had it down.  I would ask her if she wanted to practice, but I never forced her.  I knew that this was something she loved to do, and if she wanted to do it, she would.  I did not want to enable her laziness by forcing her to do something that she should be responsible to do on her own. She needed to take ownership of her work ethic.  She needed to reap what she sowed.

Each audition prior to her audition in January 2012 she forgot her lyrics.  If there is one rule in a musical theater audition it would be this:  YOU HAVE TO KNOW YOUR SONG!!!  No excuses.  Directors just stop listening if you don’t know your the words.  Each audition she would have to go to the piano and sing while reading along with the pianist.

Needless to say, she was always disappointed when the cast list came out and she was part of the ensemble. She got great training in voice control, body movement, and use of the stage as part of the ensemble, but she never got the spotlight she dreamed about.

This fall, something in her changed.  She had the opportunity to sing as part of a trio at school.  She practiced her song every day.  She would take her music in the car to practice.  She would play it while she took a shower.  She diligently applied herself to perfecting that song.  When it came time to sing at her school’s performance, she sang that song with confidence that was beyond her 12 young years and had people around me (who I didn’t even know) commenting about what a great singer she was.

After she finished her performance I asked her what she thought had made the difference in how she felt about that performance versus the other opportunities she has had.  She said, “Well, I really knew the song because I practiced so much.  I wasn’t afraid because I knew it.”  She had the same voice, but she had diligently applied herself.

God gave Precious A a natural talent to perform. He gave her a really strong voice. But simply having talent wasn’t enough.  She had to take that gift and be diligent in her use of it.  She had to practice and work, and practice and work some more.   It was a lesson that took three years for her to learn.

In January, she auditioned for the third time.  This time she not only got one of the lead roles, the director followed my husband to the car and was lost for words as he tried to explain how blown away they all were by A’s audition, an audition that wowed because she diligently prepared for it.

I read Precious A Proverbs 13:4.  I explained that having dreams is so important.  But if all we ever do is dream and we never work hard to accomplish the goals we set we will forever be unsatisfied.  This weekend as she performed on stage I could see her satisfaction.  I could see her confidence as she said her lines and sang her songs.  Her diligence made that happen.

It was a lesson worth waiting three years for her to learn!

I did not force her to practice for her show.  She wanted to do it.  She found time to do it.  She enjoyed doing it.

What activities do your children love, but you still have to force them to practice and prepare?  What would happen if you let them reap what they sow?  They may not get the starring role, but they will get something so much better.  They will learn to diligently work for something important to them.  They will see that if they don’t work hard, even if they have a natural talent, they will always be dreaming and left unsatisfied.

(This only works if it is your child’s dream and not your own!!  If it is your dream for your child, you will always have to force it.)

I didn’t need my alarm to wake up on Saturday.  Like most mornings, my little boys were up with the sun.  They snuggled beside me, their tiny hands resting on my arm and I thanked God for their lives.

I rose wearily and walked into where Precious A was still sleeping, exhausted from the rush of her performance the night before.  I kissed her still small forehead and whispered it was time to get up and shower.  I looked into her precious face, still relaxed from sleep, and thanked God for her life.

Princess L stumbled into the kitchen a few minutes later, her bed head covering most of her sweet little features.  I brushed her hair to the side, tucked it behind her ear, hugged her, and thanked God for her life.

Life.

It seems so simple an idea, that all human beings be given the right to live.  So simple, yet somehow it has become so complicated, so divisive.

You see, I am actually a mother to five children. My arms can hold my four youngest.  My hands can serve my four youngest.  My heart can treasure memories of my four youngest.  But I have yet to meet my oldest.

Fourteen years ago tomorrow, I ended the life of my oldest through a choice I was told was mine to make.  I was convinced that having an abortion would make my life like I had never been pregnant in the first place, that I would be able to just go on the way things had before.  I believed the lie that having an abortion would give me a do-over.  In my selfishness, thinking my life was worth more than the human I carried, I chose.

Instead of a clean slate, I received an emptiness that almost consumed me.  A hole replaced my baby, a hole that still stings my heart and makes my arms long for a baby I never got to hold.

It was this emptiness that lead me into the arms of my precious Savior.    I was pregnant with Precious A at the time, still unmarried, and now completely alone because her birth father still didn’t want to be a dad.  My situation was no different than when I had been pregnant the first time, but my heart was different.  When I realized exactly what my sin had cost, I fell to my knees in brokenness and wept.

This weekend I celebrated the life of precious A by watching her star in the her first big show on Friday night.  I watched with pride and joy as she blew the audience away and people whispered, “I had no idea she could sing like that!”  On Saturday morning I celebrated her life, the life of my three other children, and remembered the short life of my oldest child by joining Hope Pregnancy Center in their first Walk For Life. 13 years ago the people at these centers stood beside me during one of the most difficult times in my life.  On Saturday, I stood side by side with my family and walked. It was a honor to walk for them when they have done so much for me and countless others.

I walked for all the babies who never will.  I walked for all the hurting moms who are left broken and empty. I walked for all the grandparents who have grandchildren they have yet to meet. I walked for all the moms who chose to keep their baby and struggle daily to make ends meet.  I walked for all the moms who lovingly place their child into the arms of another mother trusting that mother to raise her baby because she cannot. I walked for all those children who are Hope Babies, whether they ever know it or not.  I walked for all the volunteers who give of their time to serve those who are alone and scared with no thought of receiving anything in return.

Most importantly I walked because God has called me to walk.  When Christ exchanged my unrighteousness for his righteousness, he also gave me a burden to help other moms who find themselves walking where I once walked.   And like David in Psalm 51, I will forever cry out of God’s strength to save, redeem, comfort, and restore those who come to him with a broken spirit and heart. I will forever declare His praise.

For me, it will never be enough to vote that I support life.  It will never be enough to simply say I am pro-life.  I will walk until my legs can no longer carry me, actively giving hope.  I will give my time and my money to help provide for needs that would otherwise go unmet.  I will help in any way I can to support these women so they will choose life.  I will reach out my hand to be kind to the needy.  I will use every opportunity I am given to speak about the greatness of a God who loved even me!

On Saturday I walked.

Will you?

Will you reach out your hands and feet to give hope to the hopeless?

A special thank you to everyone who sponsored me for this walk.

If you or someone you know is facing an unplanned pregnancy or if you or someone you know has had an abortion and would like to talk to someone who understands and you live in the Oklahoma City or Tulsa area please call Hope Pregnancy Center or go to their website.

My parents arrived from Colorado yesterday to watch their oldest granddaughter perform in her first starring role as Princess Jasmine in Aladdin tonight!   The small fries love Grammy and Poppy.  Princess L has been counting down the days, hours, and minutes until we could go to the “airpork” and pick them up.

Grammy and Poppy always have the neatest little gifts for each of the kids when they arrive.

As I saw my children snuggle and smother my mom and dad, it made me so grateful for the gifts my parents have given my four small fries.  Not the gift of a punching ball, or a necklace, or a doll, or a mini tin lunch box.The gift of faithful instruction to me that is now being passed on to them.  The gift of wisdom and knowledge.  The gift of knowing that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of that knowledge. It is a gift the small fries don’t even realize they have been given.

I pray that one day I’ll have the opportunity to love my grandchildren the way my parents love theirs.  These moments make me pause and remember the importance of my job as a mom.  The results last so much longer than just the 18 years or so that I have my children living with me.  It creates a legacy that goes from generation to generation.

I am so grateful to you mom and dad for your faithful example and your patient teaching when I was a child.  You have given your grandchildren something so much more valuable than a new toy.  You have given them the opportunity to grow in the nurture of the Lord!

(Precious A is not in any of the pictures because she has been at rehearsals all evening, every evening for the last week!)

One thing I have learned about intentionally teaching my small fries character traits from Proverbs is that it doesn’t have to take a lot of time.  The activities only take a few minutes, but they open a door for conversation all throughout the week as situations arise.  They act as a reference point that I can point to and my small fries can relate to.  They don’t take it all in at once as they sat at the table and do the activity.  It’s a process.

It was especially important that this week’s activity be very simple and quick to complete.  Like most of the activities found here it requires things you might already have in your kitchen.

To complete this activity you need:

• Two paper bags (bags you cannot see through)
• Three apples
• A rock
• A scale

Before you begin secretly place the rock in one of the bags.   It’s important your kids don’t see you do this!!

Read Proverbs 20:10 together.  Explain the words unequal, measures, and abomination (an abomination is something detestable, hated, or vile).

Talk about how when you buy certain things at the store, the price is determined by how much the food weighs. Then demonstrate how this works.

Set your scale to zero.

Have your kids place the three apples in the bag without the rock.

After the apples are in the bag, set the bag on the scale.  If your kids know their numbers have them tell you how much it weighs.

Once you have recorded the weight, remove the apples from the first bag, and have your kids place the same three apples into the bag that secretly holds the rock.  Place it on the scale.

Immediately they’ll notice the numbers are not the same.

They were so confused about how the numbers could be different with the same apples.  Then I pulled out the rock. By sneaking the rock into the bag, I was making the apples appear to weigh more than they actually did.  This means they would have to pay more for the apples than they should.

We talked about how when we trick people into thinking something is different than it actually is we are being dishonest and we call that being deceitful.  I explained that God is truth, there is nothing in him that is dishonest or deceitful.  Anything we do or say that is not truth God sees as an abomination.

Here are some questions to ask during this activity:

• What are some things that you find an abomination (something you hate and find really gross)?
• How have you tried to trick people?
• When you are being sneaky are you being honest?
• Who sees you even if mom and dad don’t?
• How does God view your sneakiness and trickiness?
• What does it mean that God is truth?
• What can we do when we have been dishonest to make it right?

I am so grateful for the opportunity these activities provide to talk about the importance of Godly character.  This was a great opportunity to show that being deceitful is the same as telling a lie.

I hate to run.
I am by no means a runner.
Before January the most I had ever run at one time was 3 miles and I thought I was going to die after I did it.

Yesterday I ran my very first half marathon (that would be 13.1 miles).

I agreed to run the half marathon for two reasons.  The first was to be able to spend time with my husband doing something he enjoys.  The second was to be able to say I did it…bragging rights are not a very good motivator in hindsight!

God has been teaching me so much through this experience that applies particularly to where I am now in parenting.

• I learned how important training is.
• I learned that training, even when done right, hurts.
• I learned that it was the training that caused me to grow.
• I learned that I can do more than I think I can.
• I learned that when I keep my eyes on the finish line I can not only keep going but finish strong.
• I learned how important it is to surround myself with people who support and encourage me to keep going.
• I learned that being able to cross the finish line is worth every moment of preparation, hurt, sacrifice, and discipline.

As parents we’re participants in a much more important marathon.  Our reasons for running it are so much better than my desire to hang out with my husband and bragging rights.  We are called by God to train up the children he has entrusted to us.  It is a marathon that takes roughly 18 years to finish. We fight exhaustion, bad tempers, selfishness, and temptation to quit.  It takes discipline and daily commitment.  It takes focus and sacrifice.  There hills we have to climb, taking one grueling step at a time.  There are gentle valleys where we find our strength renewed.  There are moments of intense pain and joyous celebration.

I was reminded of Paul’s exhortation in Hebrews.  His call to run the race, to lay aside everything that holds us back.  His call to endure keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus.  It all took on a new meaning as I ran the race on Sunday.  I was encouraged by the people who came out to cheer us on, I felt renewed strength when I saw the banner displayed above the finish line.  And when I crossed the finish line, every mile of training paid off.

I often hate the mundane routine of parenting.  I don’t enjoy the daily messes and the grueling effort required to discipline my small fries.  But oh, the prize at the end of my race if I endure, if I use the daily training to make me grow!!   Yes, it hurts.  Yes, it requires sacrifice.  Yes, there are days I want to throw in the towel.  But I keep my eyes focus on Jesus the founder and the perfecter of my faith, the one who will enable me to complete this task he has called me to do.  He will give me wisdom and understanding and keep my feet from stumbling. Hearing him say, “Well done,” is worth enduring every moment of hardship in the meantime.

I pray that as you run your marathon of parenting, you find the encouragement and support you need to keep on running.  May this reminder to keep your eyes on Jesus be refreshing to your soul.   We run for such a glorious purpose.    I am running beside you.  Others who have gone before us are cheering us on to finish.  And when we do finally cross the finish line, what a celebration we’ll have!

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