Proverb For Life - Proverbs 15:1 “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (ESV)
When I write, I find it easier to be honest with myself. When I write, I find it easy to pour my heart out. When I write, I find hope. I have a journal of my prayers. I have written my dreams. I have shared stories and snippets from my day by writing. I started Proverbs For Life because I wanted to use my writing to help encourage others who share the same struggles I have.
When I write about the spiritual lessons I am learning my inclination is to write about the lessons I have learned in the past and things I hope to accomplish in the future.
This week’s verse encapsulates my day-to-day struggle as a mother.
Not the words that come out of my mouth, but the tone with which those words are spoken.
I wish I could say that the emotion I feel most often during my day is love, gratitude, or peace.
Instead it is most often frustration.
Frustration that someone woke up too early. Frustration that the dog ate my sandwich, and then the sandwich I made to replace the first sandwich he also ate. Frustration that the kids are being mean to each other. Frustration that the kids are not moving quickly enough. Frustration because I was interrupted. Frustration because food was spilled on the floor I just mopped. Frustration because of so many things that go differently than how I expected them to go throughout the day. I hate it that the people I love the most are often the ones that cause me the most frustration. The people I want to show the most affection to are the ones that hear my harsh words.
When I sit to write about this verse, I am forced to be honest and write from a place of brokenness because of my own struggle.
My first reaction is not always soft.
My first reaction is often harsh.
My first reaction is just that, a reaction.
Most days it seemed the only way to get the attention of my children was to raise my voice. Then I started to hear exactly what I sounded like because my children would talk like me to each other. There is nothing quite so eye opening as hearing your tone coming from a two year old.
In my study of Acts (through Bible Study Fellowship a.k.a. BSF), the power of the Holy Spirit is clearly reveled in the lives of Paul, Timothy, Silas, Barnabas and others. They responded with praise after being beaten and jailed.
Praise. Thankfulness. Joy.
Praise for the hardship. Thankfulness for the opportunity to display God’s glory. Joy at being counted worth to suffer.
That is not my normal reaction when something goes wrong.
A little over two months ago I asked God to help me change my thoughtless reactions into thoughtful responses. It seems like such a subtle difference. And through his enabling I am not failing as often as I was, although I am no where near where I long to be.
This is Proverbs For Life’s verse of the week because I need it.
When my children look back on their childhood what will they remember? Harsh Mom or Soft Mom? It is my prayer that through the Holy Spirit’s power it will be Soft Mom!
On Tuesday I’ll show you the activity we did with the kids to illustrate this verse in a fun way and to help them realize how their words, and how they say those words, can affect people.
Four of the best reasons ever for speaking softly!
Mandi, I know that you hear it all the time, but I will say it anyway, “you are so not alone in these feelings, sense of failure, and despair.” But thank you for displaying to put it out there and acknowledge it. And for reminding us that the only way to overcome is to let the Holy Spirit’s transforming power change us. I pray many are blessed by your transparency but even more I pray other young moms find victory in this area because of your encouragement.
Mary
Thank you so much, Mary.