I can't believe it has been 8 weeks since we moved. The days have been so full.  Baseball, painting, bush removal, swimming, painting, changing electrical outlets and switches, painting, vacation, garage organizing, and then more painting.  (Can you tell there is a lot of painting to be done?)     Sitting at the computer this morning I remember how much I love to write.  How something in my mind opens when I pick up a pen or move my finger over the computer's square keys.  I reflect more when I write.  I process my thoughts by getting them out on paper (or screen!). As a kid I moved quite a few times.  As a young adult I moved a lot.  Precious A and I made 6 moves in 7 years. When we moved to OKC 8 years ago, I was so relieved to finally be somewhere … [Read more...]

My Positive Abortion Story…A Response

8 weeks

It will be 16 years tomorrow that I lay on a table eerily similar to the one I saw in Emily Latt's video.  I remember the gown, the gas, the feel of the air, the smell. I can close my eyes and feel the moment my unborn child left my body. I can feel my body's resistance that suddenly broke into emptiness. I remember the relief I felt when it was over. "Now my life can go on, just like it was before," I thought. I can't write without tears because I remember all of it. I remember seeing Precious A's sonogram at 8 weeks almost exactly a year later.  Watching her busy hands, her feet.  Seeing her heartbeat.  Hearing it's rhythmic drum.  I remember the stab of guilt and shame knowing I silenced the heart of another at exactly the same age. A positive abortion story, the video … [Read more...]

A Gift and A Blessing


As a lot of you know, I am taking Precious A to Haiti in November to meet a girl we have sponsored for the last 8 years through Compassion International.  When one of my mom's friends found out what we were doing she made an amazing offer to help. Last Christmas my family received this beautiful hand-painted ornament in memory of my grandma who had passed away the previous year. When Val heard that I was taking Precious A to Haiti she offered her talents to help us raise money to get there. Her ornaments are breathtakingly beautiful, personal, and unique. She made this one for Princess L when her bird died recently.  She was able to paint Kiwi from a picture I sent her and has one of Princess L's favorite verses on the back. Princess L LOVES it!!  We are … [Read more...]

Update on Little C


She's my big sister, so obviously I think she is pretty amazing. I always have. But over the last few years our relationship has grown and developed in ways I never imagined it could when we were kids. If you knew us as kids, I bet you have a hard time believing it too!! About 7 years ago we had a conversation about religion. It was one of many we had had before. She believed that all religion was basically the same. I believe there is one way, one truth, one life. We couldn't have been more different. To me, although I believe firmly in absolute truth, I also believe faith is personal, between a person and God. In rejecting what I believe, a person is not rejecting me. So I never took it personally that my sister disagreed with me, and she and I could always talk calmly … [Read more...]

When Tomorrow Breaks Your Heart Today


I got her email a few weeks ago.  A quick note from my sister thanking us, her family and friends, for our prayers.   Little C, my sweet 2 year-old-nephew, was going in for his second EEG the following day, she told us. The epilepsy discovered through his first EEG in late August had not improved like his doctor hoped it would.  This time they were going to look for something that might tell them more, a certain brain wave pattern that marks a form of epilepsy called Lennox-Gastaut Syndrom or LGS. At the end of her email was a link to learn more about LGS LGS is rare, and after reading the bleak outlook for LGS patients, words like degenerative, mental retardation, life long care, loss of abilities, non-responsive to treatment, my heart broke for the tomorrow that was on its … [Read more...]

She Did What She Swore She Wouldn’t Do!


Our Precious Princess L got baptized April 6th. When she was 6 she got really upset about being mean to her brothers and in her tears asked God to forgive her and give her a new heart, one that loved Him. Almost every night for the last two years since then as I or Big D tuck her in and get ready to leave she says, "Wait, I have a question."  And then she stays up late discussing questions like, "Who created God?  Why does God love me even though I have done A LOT of bad things ?" (followed by tears) "Why do I keep doing bad things even though I love God? What happens if I don't apologize for doing bad things?  Will I eventually stop feeling bad that I did them?  Why don't I do good things just because I love God and not so others will be proud of me?" As her mom, there is … [Read more...]

Hair Cutting Class Details


Okay, so Amber and I are going to Haiti...yeah!!  Now comes the fun part of fundraising... To help with the cost I will host a hair cutting class in early June or late July.  The exact date will be nailed down once all the participants let me know what works for them. This class is not to be mistaken for formal training in cosmetology at a beauty school.  To become a licensed cosmetologist you need 1500 hours training by a licensed instructor.  When I went to school it cost about $6,000.00!  You also have to sit for your state board exam at the end of training and pass that to receive your license. Unless you are a licensed professional you cannot charge for haircuts! This class is meant to be an informal class for moms or dads who already cut their families' hair or who would like to … [Read more...]

We’re Taking Compassion to Haiti – You Can Help


For the last eight years my family has had the privilege of getting to know a precious young girl in Haiti. We met her through Compassion International when she was 7 years old. She turned 15 this month. She studies hard and loves her family fiercely. Her most frequent prayer requests are that I would pray for her to do well in her exams by remembering all she has studied and that God would protect her family.  All I know of her has been obtained by letters she sends to us. Because of the work of Compassion International, we have a friend in a place we have never been before. We decided to sponsor children through Compassion International for two reasons.  The first is the burden Big D and I have to make a difference in the world in which we live.  The second reason is because … [Read more...]

The Wonderful Thing About Beauty


It's hard to believe April is already here.  I  didn't write anything over the entire month of March it went by so fast!! My dad always starts to wonder if I'm feeling okay when I don't write for long periods of time. But this lapse in writing had nothing to do with how I felt; it was because I found this awful (wonderful) app thanks to my neighbor.  It's called Overdrive, and through it I can borrow books from the library...for free...any time...any place...it's been sucking my free time and time that isn't free right up!! I would list all the books I have read over the last month, but Bid D may read it and then look at me with eyes that say, "You've read how many books?!"  I seriously have read way too much. Wonderful, horrible app! Because my focus this year is beauty, seeing … [Read more...]

Why is it so Hard to Play?


Sometime I feel like I was a better mom when I was a kid. I knew how to put every other thing aside and play with my dolls. I spent hours with them, brushing their hair, changing their clothes, throwing tea-parties, dressing up...then something horrible happened. I grew up. I stopped playing. Now it is so hard for me to sit down and just play. I see the laundry piling up and the dirty floors that need mopped. I actually pick activities to play with the kids that will cause the least amount of cleanup instead of the ones that cause the most amount of fun. I hate that on many days I lose the wonder of fun. I have to make myself stop and just play. They are outside playing right now.  So I grabbed my camera and interrupted. Yesterday, I asked Little Man what his … [Read more...]